Met a man in a game room 2 yrs ago, he makes me feel so loved and I love him.?

We have never met or spoken on the phone. In these two years he has had many hardships. He is a professional who serves our country, and has know as a child just what he wanted to do. We were simply friends for the first year or so, for he had a girl friend, who played in the same game room. The three of us were good friends. His them girlfriend always told me that he had a crush on me, I thought it was just a joke. Then she left him for someone else (silly silly girl). At one point he confided in me that she was his soul mate and that he would marry her, if she would have him. Even after they broke up, he was very protective of her, thought this other guy was a creep and just leading her on. Any way, a few months went by even though when they were still together, he would always leave me the kindest, sweetest msgs. We simple enjoyed each others company. well he persued me for quite some time, he is 29 and I am 49. UH HUH He says he prefers older women. He is very wise and mature for his age, I tell him he is an old soul. Well, for the longest time I told him that I didnt date younger men. He continued to persue me any way. Well, there were many other women on that site that were head over heals for him. He is very charming, witty, sensitive, funny, very sincere and honest....almost to a fault. I began to return the affection, and I have fallen in love with him. crazy huh? Well now this is the issue....he has been burning the candle at both ends since christmas.....he is a very responsible and devoted family man. His sister whom he was very close to died tragically not quite a year ago. He lives in NJ, travels alot for work...visited his ill mother for a week or so before christmas, flew back to Coneticut to spend the holiday with his brother in law and his niece and nephew that his sister left behind. And since, has been working 18 hour days....during this last snow, he had to stay at work for 2 days. He has been quite tired, and cant seem to get rested. Oh we meet every night on this game site. Except for when he is working crazy hours. Well tonight, we were chatting and I was asking him how he was. He said he didnt get any sleep. I asked him why? He responded: I dont know how to answer that question. Me: ?????? security reasons? (he is FBI) He: not at all. He: what are you getting at? Before I could answer him, he said Oh I dont care and left the room. I just dont get it. Maybe I was annoying him with all the questions? He has seemed kinda distant, edgy, and defensive for the last week or so. I do wish he would just come out and say what is going on. It hurt me deeply, that he said he didnt care, not like him. Ive been crying since 8:30 pm. Now I am beginning to get angry. I cant sleep.....my 8 yr old son, see's me like this. I am sure I am up for the night. Started writing him an angry IM, and messed that all up, account of the stupid enter on....thinking it would go to next paragraph rather than enter it into IM. Seached helps for a way to delete it and start over. Couldnt find anything, and now I'm here. You should also know, that we have never met or even talked on the phone. Just the other day when the subject of us meeting came up, he said it was a scarey proposition and wanted to know if I felt the same. I do. But asked him, what are we affraid of? then added, well food for thought....he said food for thought indeed. And we havent discussed it since. Any insights or suggestions? I have only been in love three times, this man is the third love, and the best man of the three of them....integrity, compion and so so sweet. I am hurting, have no way of reaching him other than on line.......another thing that has been bothering me.