I am 26/F and have been feeling depressed, anxious, and irritable..need advice?

A lot of happend the past year, I fell in love with a guy and we stayed together for 10 months, it was magic the first couple months but steadily turned abusive (verbally), and emotionallyfrom my ex. When I first met him we were fishing, and I found him to be just the right guy for me. I didn't realize there was soo much more I had yet to find out about him. Meaning that I was starting to feel like his mother, letting him borrow money to support his habit (marijuana) which I had no idea how much he was into it, smoking everyday and getting cranky if he didn't have it. I stayed with him every night at his parents house for about 8 months, but I did not live there, I'd go straight to work in the mornings. At first I was ok with staying with him, but it started to get to the point where I thought to myself, is this what I am going to be doing from now on. The ex wasn't the type to really call or text me for no reason, he barely liked or to kiss me. I decied that I wanted some time on my own, but I still loved him so I got my own apt in the same city. After a few short days from moving in we argued about the key to my place, and of course I'd let him stay over, I eventually gave him the keys and he moved in. It sharply turned bad..I noticed that he stopped helping out, wouldn't buy food, wouldn't clean unless I asked, and invited his friends over when I was away. What I loved about him was that he was intelligent, and gifted with music, and made me laugh..but there were other things about him that I didn't like: he'd raise his voice at me while I drove, if I didn't drive properly or made mistakes, I had almost always had to make dinner coming home from work, otherwise he'd find a way to make me feel like I was starving him, he called me names when we'd argue (like ***** or retard or stupid), yet he'd tell me how he loves being with me. It didn't make sense. He didn't pay for bills, and never talked of the future or of what he really wanted to do. And it made me sad, as I wanted to make it work right. Recently our arguing escalated, mainly due to me not being able to handle the fact that he did not pay attention to my needs. I'm not going to list every arguement we had but I will say that there was an incident where I was upset about everything and I threw keys infront of him hitting the floor, he got up and ripped my couch up. That was a disaster and I stayed with him. A week later, we argued again and I told him to leave, then told him to stay..which he ended up leaving..Days later he texts me that he misses me, I ignore his texts..but eventually a couple days later I respond, texting him with what went wrong and what I need to know he cares, and we end up hanging out at my place a couple times but he'd go home just like I'd ask. The last time I saw him he slept at my place. I forgot to mention that the past week a lot had happend to me (I got in a car accidnet my truck was in the shop, my bike tire got stolen at work) all the stress was coming down on me at once, and I was feeling less like an adult and more like a scared child. I told my ex I wanted to be friends and make that work first, build that foundation, and I also wanted some space to relax my mind and just be on my own (not wanting to date other people), he got upset and told me that if I didn't want to hang out with him he'd go date someone else. That tore me to pieces, and that was yesterday we last spoke. He lives with his parents, doesn't go to school right now, and works 10-15 hours a week, spends the rest of the time play vid games with his friends or smoking pot mostly. He's 24 I'm 26, and I know he has a lot of growing up to do...I want to be with him still, but I don't know what he wants from our relationship, or what he wants in a future. I know what i want, I want a man that can be independent and caring and can show it....but I don't know what to do, I've been constantly depresssed, not hungry, sad, anxious, and lonely. I have to pretend I'm happy at work, but it makes things worse by the end of the day. My brother did me a great favor buy staying with me and taking me to work, but I feel like I"m suffocating I want my own space and I want to be happy. Anyone have any advice?